] We're the Goth Union, and we're here for you. Our shop
] stewards are well versed in all matters Goth-related,
] from the maximum number of ornamental safety pins the law
] will allow on a single outfit (242) to the easiest and
] fastest way to clear Joy Division imports through
] Customs. Our dues are just pennies a day, but our counsel
] to those living the Goth lifestyle is invaluable. Let us
] help you to be the best Goth you can be -- which is to
] say, precisely as good a Goth as any of your peers. Only
] when the playing field is level will we achieve our goal:
] Individuality Through Conformity!