Neoteric wrote:
] ] The sauce is named after its score on the chilli heat
] ] measure, the Scoville Unit.
] ]
] ] Reserve scores 16 million units, while a Red Savina, the
] ] world's spiciest pepper, measures just 570,000.

Sheesh, I remember the prototype for this sauce! You see, the creator, Blair Lazar, used to frequent a store I worked at during my formative years. The name of the company was once "Belmar Bay Co." but by the time they hired me, the sign read "Hell's Kitchen" and they sold the hottest crap on the planet.

The owner, Rick, was a pretty wacky fellow, full of conspiracy theories and saucy tales (awful pun), but he had a heart of gold. How I loved going in there, even on my days off, and sampling the collection of tongue torturing delicacies. Menu was simple enough, with only a selection of tacos and fajitas, really, but the levels of hot that you could have the food prepared at were charming. In addition to plain old HOT, MEDIUM and WIMPY (there was no mild at Hell's Kitchen), you could venture further up the scale of spice into the aptly named Terminator, Satan's Revenge, Devil's Wrath and, ultimately, Armageddon. (Eventually, when Blair invented a hot powder called Death Rain, we incorporated it into a heat called "Death Wish" that was hotter than Armageddon, but that wouldn't come for a few years).

Anyhow, we were the first store to stock Blair's sauces, and he would guinea pig them on us. He owned a bar called Gimpi's in the Atlantic Highlands where they served things like Aligator steaks and "Death Wings." At first, the sauces that Blair made were Death and After Death. They were good and hot, but then along came "Beyond Death." Beyond was supposed to have passed the competition in Scoville units (that competition being Dave's Insanity and Endorphin Rush). The validity of the boast is arguable, but what would come next blew everything out of the water.

Sudden Death, as it were, burnt the ever living hell out of even a seasoned dog like myself. It had a demented looking skeleton on the front, beckoning you to try this sauce. I ate one wing made with it. For the next eight hours I could point to whatever place in my body the thing was.

Then, I went into work one day and saw a special bottle, wax-sealed and signed by Blair. The factory had apparently screwed up and made a batch of Sudden Death that was one thousand times hotter than usual. The bottles sold for thirty dollars and my boss told me some story about Blair spilling a little bit of it on his hand and the ensuing burn leaving a permanent scar. (I tried the stuff. No scar left on my tongue, but gory was it hot).

That was nine years ago. In the interim, I tried Blair's Hot Pot, a sauce made from hemp seeds that was pretty good and the aforementioned Death Rain. Then Hell's Kitchen closed up tight and moved to Vermont briefly before shutting down forever. Blair sold Gimpi's, but continued burning us with his sauces (and potato chips, eventually. Damn they are worth hunting down). I grew up and started doing better things with my time than hanging out in Hot Sauce stores. Reading about Blair's new culinary torture implement really brings a sense of nostalgia to my day.