] Here are some foolproof ways to tell if your wife is
] making dirty movies behind your back:
]
] -- Every couple of weeks she has to fly to California to
] care for a "sick aunt."
]
] -- When in bed, she just lies there until you yell
] "Action!"
]
] -- Just as you're about to make love, she asks, "What's
] my motivation?"
]
] -- She keeps getting mail addressed to "Patty O'Plenty."
]
] -- Whenever you go out, drooling men ask her for her
] autograph.
]
] -- She looks suspiciously like the Hustler pin-up in your
] neighbor's garage.
]
] -- She knows sexual positions that would put a circus
] contortionist in the hospital.
]
] -- She wears a micro miniskirt and six-inch spike heels
] to go grocery shopping.
]
] -- On your joint tax return she lists her occupation as
] "passion princess."