The Horror, The Horror:

Owner: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!

Homer: [worried] Ooooh, that's bad.

Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!

Homer: [relieved] That's good.

Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.

Christopher Drew and John Markoff:

Lockheed Martin, the nation's largest military contractor, has battled disruptions in its computer networks this week that might be tied to a hacking attack on a vendor that supplies coded security tokens to millions of users, security officials said on Friday.

Lockheed sells cybersecurity services to military and intelligence agencies, and some experts said its failure to take greater precautions with its own systems could be embarrassing.

Art Coviello, in March:

Our investigation has led us to believe that the attack is in the category of an Advanced Persistent Threat (APT).

From the Loose Tokens Boil Oceans department:

What in the world is going on? Oh, it's a hacker causing all of this chaos.

Undersecretary of Commerce Mark Foulon:

It has become clear that Internet access in itself is a vulnerability that we cannot mitigate. We have tried incremental steps and they have proven insufficient.

Samantha Power:

There are great benefits to connectedness, but we haven't wrapped our minds around the costs.

Jack Kerouac:

"You boys going to get somewhere, or just going?" We didn't understand his question, and it was a damned good question.