Austin, TX - The board of directors of Dell ruled unanimously that the present CEO, Michael Dell, was being replaced by Vishnu the Orangutan, a resident of the Calcutta Zoo in India.
A spokesperson via satellite from Bombay said that Mr. Dell was just too expensive. “We are tired of the drain on profits that his million dollar salary, paid vacations, political campaign donations and stock options are causing,” said board member Terrence Thompson.
Many analysts now question whether Dell is still an American corporation, especially now that the CEO is a great ape in India. Prudential’s Benjamin Bloom said, "Our current beliefs are that if the CEO is an American, the company is American, regardless of how much of the work is done by Americans